greece

(no subject)

Sean is really driving me crazy lately. I think it's a combination of his age and my exhaustion. He repeats everything over and over and has this annoying fake laugh that goes on for days. It's really annoying. But I do hear his friends doing it as well so I'm sure it's just the age.

My sleep problems are nearly breaking me. I've been trying to get help for over ten years without much success. I've gotten an odd pill here or there but they never help. I kept begging for a referral to a sleep clinic and none of the doctors would ever give me one. Finally, two months ago, I got a bit...unpleasant and refused to leave without the referral. She wrote it but I still haven't heard anything from the clinic. So I made an appointment at the private one. It's expensive, but I'm pretty desperate at this point. The exhaustion is affecting every aspect of my life now. What makes me saddest is that I know I would most likely have more patience and more energy to be the mother I want to be if I could just get a good nights sleep. My appointment is at the end of the month so keep your fingers crossed that they can help me.

Work is good, and not. My boss has no leadership skills. I've heard now from most of the other employees that they've all had problems with her and that she shouldn't be in charge of employees. *sigh* I don't know how I always end up with bosses that are only in charge because they've been there the longest, not because they are actually qualified to lead people. The garments that were sewn before I arrived have all been returned because of problems. The wrong labels, wrong sizes, clothing label doesn't match bag label, etc. It's annoying but I can understand how it happened...kind of. Doesn't matter, I can fix the issues but my boss keeps treating me like I'm an idiot and like I've made all these mistakes. I pointed out to her that I didn't sew those garments and showed her how I knew that. She responded that I shouldn't make excuses and shift blame. Uhh....ok. If I make a mistake I admit it. I'm pretty fucking good at my job and I'm very, very organized. I'm not saying I won't make a mistake, but I do try to set myself up for success so that mistakes are as minimal as possible. Gah! Anyhow, it's been a really stressful week to say the least.

Oh, and my pain-free arm is no longer pain-free. :( *sigh*
greece

(no subject)

People, I am SO STRESSED. Looking for an apartment in one city, looking for a job in another. Not knowing if I'll be moving or not. Not knowing if I'll have a job or not. Feeling so completely overwhelmed by this all. Ugh. Ugh. and Ugh.
greece

(no subject)

I suffer from "skadeglädje". Do we even have a word for that in English? The words the dictionary gives don't seem quite right: malice, gloat, spitefulness. It's when you laugh at someone's pain, not with a cruel intent. More like when someone trips and falls and the falling itself was terrifically funny even though the after math wasn't. I cannot stop laughing about stuff like that! It's a curse. My younger sister and I once got glared out of a yoga class because we both could not compose ourselves after someone stretched themself the wrong way, got hurt, and then made a funny comment about it. haha

I forgot to mention that on Saturday my date willingly went second-hand shopping with me. (Dream guy! haha) While in the stores we both kind of went our own ways while browsing. In one store I managed to knock an ENTIRE shelf of ceramics onto the floor. It was an impressive crash! I was so embarrassed. When we were in the car I asked him if he'd heard all the commotion, he had. Then I confessed that it was me and we both had a good laugh. hehe
greece

(no subject)

Before I found out that my job was moving to Gothenburg I had started to make plans for Sean and I. Since I was working in Fritsla, and Robert is no longer living there, I thought we could move back. I searched for apartments, I signed Sean up for a daycare transfer, I was planning on riding my bike to work. The apartment would be cheaper and I'd save money on gas each month as well. Fritsla is a small village, but a very active one. They have tons of activities for children throughout the year. Today the owners of the apartment I wanted most of all phoned and said it was mine if I wanted it. I had to turn it down. Ugh. I know there are better things waiting for us, but just ugh.

I was watching Discovery channel tonight and a show called "First Week In" came on. It follows three different criminals during their first week of prison. I thought of my brother. I wonder how he is. I hope he's ok. It makes me sad.

I finally, finally bought a little lamp to have by the bed so that I can read Sean bedtime stories in bed again. He's quieter and concentrates better when we lay in bed. Sitting on the sofa and trying to read to him before bedtime is not great. He jumps up and down and has comments about every word I read. It winds him up instead of calming him down, not good. haha
greece

(no subject)

Said by Sean today: "I gonna have hair on my penis when I get big. You know, big like daddy then I gonna have hair....Not like you Mommy, you have ONLY hair. Your penis falled off. My penis doesn't falls off."

Boys! LOL
greece

(no subject)

I turned forty on Easter. There was no big party or anything, but I did get a suprise visit and nice gift from our previous neighbors. Sean did the whole Easter trick-or-treating thing. Sometimes it's beneficial living in an elderly neighborhood. Those old folks really know how to give out the candy! I think they all gave him at least three handfulls! haha

I am LOVING my job. It's just challenging enough to keep it interesting and the coworkers are just great. However, we got the news this week that in October they are moving the company to Gothenburg and integrating it into a larger company. That went over like a lead brick. It's not the worst news but it does mean that I have to make some changes. I cannot afford to drive to Gothenburg every day. This means I either have to find a new job or move to Gothenburg. I like living out here in the country. Moving to the city has it's plusses and I try to keep the positives in mind. Closer to friends. Good shopping. Easier to date. Possibly easier to find a babysitter. But there are negatives as well. Higher costs. Less open spaces. More crime. There is also concerns over schooling in the future and the real risk of not getting a daycare spot if we move. Ugh... lots of thoughts that have been keeping me up late at night. Anyhow, I've signed up with some rental agencies and also with the unemployment office, so who knows what will happen. Changes are a commin!
greece

(no subject)

We had a little family party for Sean on Wednesday. Robert's parents and our old neighbors were here. I made a big flag banner thing to hang across the living room and then hung up balloons all over. Sean was so excited. All day he kept saying, "Sean birthday!" with a big smile and sparkly eyes. He's not a big cake eater generally so I tried to make something I thought he might like a little bit. I made a pancake cake with layers of chocolate, whipped cream, and peaches. He ate tons of the ingredients while we were putting it together and then at the party he ate one bite of cake. I call it a success! hahaha

I really suck at taking birthday pictures. I didn't get any good ones at his first birthday and none at the family party this year either. Ugh. I have one more chance at his big party tomorrow.

Evidently flickr won't let me upload pics right now so you'll have to wait to see them.